Dodecahedrons of Doom!

Hey look! I'm posting again.

Hoping to be less of a lazyman about this blog and my gaming. So here's something that's maybe possibly useful. I'll get around to rambling about Helgacon and other stuff soon. Got a nice write up of my games from Delta today, so go check it out.

I've been asked to run a game for my coworkers, and so to spice up their first foray into old school gaming I made some Critical charts. (Most of the folks are 3rd. or 4th. ed players, although one guy is an old hand at 2nd. ed. like me.) These are designed to run with Labyrinth Lord, which is my axe of choice in these sorts of situations.

So I give you, the dodecahedron of doom charts, so that the poor neglected 12 sider can take its sweet revenge. These may be pretty simple compared to other critical charts, but they oughta be worth a few laffs for my purposes.

CRITICAL COMBAT FAILURE TABLE: roll 1d12 on a natural 1 in combat

01: You are thrown off balance and fall prone, lose next attack getting up again. Temporary +2 to AC.

02: You swing wide and leave yourself open. +2 to AC for next round.

03: You lose your grip on your weapon and drop it at your feet. Draw a backup or spend your next turn retrieving it.

04: Your strike rebounds wildly from your foe's defense, doing 1d4 damage from your own weapon.

05: You sprain your wrist, -2 to hit until you can stop to bind it.(This action takes at least a turn to do right.)

06: Your grip loosens in the midst of a powerful swing, flinging the weapon for distance. 1d8 direction 1= forward. 2d10 Feet.   

07: You twist an ankle. Movement reduced by 30'(10') until you can bind it.

08: You swing wildly, dealing a glancing blow to a nearby ally for 1/2 your weapon's damage. If no allys in proximity, lose weapon.

09: Your weapon gets entangled with enemy weapon or shield, wrenching it out of your hands. Now they've got it.

10: Your weapon breaks, rendering it useless. Magic weapons will not break but their plus becomes a minus for duration of fight.

11: You trip up an ally with your clumsiness, knocking them prone. If no allies present, fall down and stun self for 1d4 rounds.

12: You manage to hold on to your weapon and not hurt any friendlies, but you look like such a dork that any retainers are reduced in morale by -2 until you manage to land a hit on the foe. If reduced to 0 they flee.

CRITICAL CHECK FAILURE TABLE: roll 1d12 on a natural 20 or 6 on attribute or other checks

01: Throw back out. -2 to all actions until a night's sleep on a level surface can be had.

02: Pull hamstring. Reduce movement by 30'(10') until you can rest for 1d4 hours

03: Sprained wrist. Lose Str & Dex bonus until it can be bound. If no bonus, suffer -1

04: Bang funny bone. Loud cry of pain causes wandering monster check.

05: Wardrobe Malfunction! Split pants, pop bodice, or snap loincloth string. How embarrassing!

06: Piece of fragile equipment (Lantern, potion flask, etc.) works free and hits the floor, breaking.

07: Bonk head on something. Take 1 pt damage and suffer -1 penalty on surprise checks and saves vs. spells until you can rest for hour.

08: Fall down. Roll again on this table, suffer consequences in addition to being prone. Some situations may make this more dangerous.

09: Random pouch, pack, or sack rips open, spilling contents on floor. Roll saves for fragile items.

10: Hit head really hard. K.O. for 1d10 turns, suffer -2 to surprise and saves vs. spells until full night's rest attained

11: Loaded weapon or charged magic item fires off! If none such carried, melee weapon slips from sheath and clatters on floor.

12: Groin smack! Unable to do anything but curl into ball and wheeze for 2d8 rounds. No picnic for lady types either, but effect only lasts for 1d4 rounds. Any monsters or retainers present can't help but point and laugh.

CRITICAL HIT SUCCESS TABLE: 

Players may opt to substitute roll on this table for extra dice damage on a crit. Can be dialed up or down depending on how ruthless a GM you feel like being. Roll 1d4 for mild, 1d6 for mean, 1d8 for not jokin' around, or 1d12 for deadly serious!

01: Disoriented! Foe loses next attack from having its bell rung.

02: Disarmed! Non weapon using foes suffer -2 to damage from erosion of attack method (broken teeth, shorn claw, etc.)

03: DisArmored! Damage to armor reduces AC by +1

04: Scared! Foe must make a morale check from puissant attack.

05: Humiliated! Clothing sliced open, or decorative feature like horn, crest, or tail lopped off. -2 to Morale score. AC unaffected

06: Tripped Up! Foe is knocked prone, loses next attack getting up, suffers temporary +2 to AC

07: Right in the Face! Foe is blinded (-4 to hit, 1/2 Movement)

08: Right in the Goolies! Foe doubles over and wheezes for 2d4 rounds. Female foes for 1d4. Oozes, mindless undead, and constructs unaffected. Enrages self aware undead, who remember having a groin and now burn with jealousy toward the living. 

09: Literally Disarmed! Foe's weapon hand or one of their claws lopped off. Roll Morale check.

10: Crippled! Blow to foe's leg reduces their movement by it's percentage of total limbs. (50% for bipeds, 25% for quadrupeds)

11: Run Through! Foe is impaled. Save vs. Death or die instantly.

12: Beheaded! Instant death! Allies must make Morale check.